"Running Has Been Invaluable for My Mental Health"
In the middle of her freshman season as a Division 1 lacrosse player at Vanderbilt University, Cailin Bracken stepped away from her sport to focus on her mental health. She was battling depression, brought on by the pressures of being a student athlete.
Cailin wrote an open letter to college sports asking coaches and administrators to “put the person before the student and athlete.” She later appeared on Good Morning America.
“Playing a sport in college, honestly, feels like playing fruit ninja with a butter knife,” Cailin wrote. “There are watermelons and cantaloupes being flung at you from all different directions, while you’re trying to defend yourself.”
Around 30% of women student athletes and 25% of men student athletes on U.S. college campuses report having anxiety, according to a statement by the American College of Sports Medicine.
Cailin returned to college sports as a sophomore last fall and has thrived by prioritizing her mental health, including running regularly. Now 20, she’ll be running her first-ever race at the 2023 RBC Brooklyn Half.
She answered questions about her running journey, how she prioritizes mental health, and what running the RBC Brooklyn Half will mean to her. Answers have been condensed and lightly edited.
What role has running played in your life?
Running in general has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. From playing kickball with neighbors on summer evenings, to starting lacrosse in the third grade, to finding a love for long distance running in my teenage years, I’ve always loved the intentionality that I associate with running.
I began running long distances when I was 16, and I remember telling myself I’d start with a 1-mile run every day. I eventually found myself running 9 or 10 miles. I loved the challenge that running long distances presented, and the total absence of pressure. Running was something that I did for myself.
Running long distances has become my solace during busy weeks and the remedy to mental fog during times when I feel like I can’t find clarity.
How would you describe your running journey?
Running illuminated the extent of my self-inflicted perfectionism. I saw a shift in my mindset when I began letting myself walk during my runs on the days when I felt like I needed to. I learned when to trust the cues of my body and my mind, and that the success of my runs is not determined by how many times I needed to stop.
My acceptance of this imperfection in running carried over to other areas of my life. I had to learn to become okay with living alongside things like imperfection, uncertainty, fear, and discomfort.
How does running help your mental health?
Running has been invaluable for my mental health. Finishing long runs, regardless of how fast you run them or how far you go, builds confidence and forces presence. It’s hard to be anywhere but where your feet are when you’re on a run.
Of course, I don’t run in place of appropriate, evidence-based mental health treatment and practices. Running is a supplement on top of all the other things that I do for my mental and physical health— things like meditation, therapy, medication, learning, and personal reflection.
It takes immense resilience and confidence to run long distances. In the same way that taking on your mental health can seem like a daunting task, standing at the starting line of a 13.1-mile run can be unnerving. It starts by putting one foot in front of the other. One step becomes one mile and suddenly you're crossing the finish line with a smile on your face.
It's the same when it comes to confronting our thoughts and feelings, it's overwhelming to think I want to be happy and never be sad or anxious again. As with running, all you have to do is take one small step, and that's progress. Eventually, you'll look back and see how far you've come.
Why are you running the RBC Brooklyn Half?
I’m running the Brooklyn half largely because I’ve been working with Release Recovery Foundation and have found so much resonance with their cause and the incredible people who work there. When I found out I had the opportunity to run the Brooklyn Half with Release, especially during Mental Health Awareness Month, deciding to run and represent Release Recovery Foundation was a no-brainer.
I’ve been sober for almost two years, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. I feel incredibly lucky to have found the gift of sobriety at such a young age, and when I connected with Release, it was clear that every aspect of the company and foundation center on increasing access to that gift and to the resources that support healing and recovery.
Photos courtesy of Vanderbilt Athletics.
NYRR is honoring Mental Health Awareness Month in May by providing opportunities and inspiration to positively impact our community's mental health through physical fitness. Learn more here.