Sara Hall's Journal

April 28, 2008 (Posted April 28, 2008)

When Ryan and I were first dating, we would often play a game when hanging out or on long car rides, where you come up with questions and both of you have to answer them. One day, I asked, "Would you rather run a world record or win a gold medal?" I was shocked when Ryan replied, "That's easy, a world record!" I felt the opposite, that it would be so much better to win a gold medal. Records come and go, time is relative, but getting the "W," that stands for itself. However, Ryan thought differently, and I soon learned that he wasn't the only one. It was then that I first realized that I'm not someone that is as motivated by time in comparison to other runners.

I don't think it's a coincidence that Ryan and I have such different perspectives on this issue. I think that people's experiences early in their youth running career shape their outlook even 10 years later as a professional runner. When I first started running, I always remember my goals being place-oriented rather than time-oriented. My goal was to win the state and national Championship. Period. Whatever time it took to do that. Partly because at my league races, I weekly ran against other state and national champions that lived in my county (Trina Cox, Jenny Aldredge, Amber Trotter) so my focus was on winning. Ryan on the other hand, was the opposite. Winning wasn't a challenge. Growing up in an isolated mountain town that didn't even have a running team, his competition was the clock. Thus, his goals were time-oriented, 4:05 written in a concrete slab in his backyard.

Fast forward to today. 4:07, the Olympic A-standard in the 1500 meters. This time is on the forefront of my mind now. It motivates me when I'm out on the track running repeats and when I'm choosing to rest over going to the beach. This isn't typical for me to have such a strong time goal. Though I've learned throughout college and pro running to be motivated and excited by running fast times, it still doesn't get me out the door like being the first to cross the tape. But to meet my place-goal of top three at the Olympic Trials, 4:07 stands as the gatekeeper to whether or not I make the team. Granted, it may not be the end-all-be-all, it's possible to not run the time and make it on the team. But at this point, I feel ready to run at least that, and it's better to cover your bases as much as possible before the Trials.

And so, with the indoor season behind me and a double at Mt. SAC to wake my legs up, my season has turned a corner in its focus: 4:07.0. And so I set of to return to my "home track" for the Cardinal Invite (Stanford still feels like home for me!). It will be a great opportunity to chase the time, and see where I'm at. And I'll definitely be watching the clock a little more than usual.

February 26, 2008 (Posted Feburary 27, 2008)

Boston is starting to feel like my second home. Not only do I race there multiple times throughout the year, but I often extend my stay to spend time with my sister, who lives in the city’s outskirts. Her house in Jamaica Plain is close to a series of “ponds” that are great to run around, and the neighborhood has a fun eclectic flavor to it. I’ve spent many nights on the aero bed in the guestroom, even staying weeks at a time in between East Coast races. I’ve gotten to know the city really well, as my sister has lived there 9 years and has probably eaten at every restaurant and seen every sight. Amy loves to take me to all of them, although I have to crack down on the amount of walking we do before the race. This isn’t just me being lazy, but walking with my sister is a workout in itself! After spending a year in Africa where she had to walk miles each day, she has become used to walking long distances, and can’t understand why I am always suggesting the T (subway) or hailing a cab when the restaurant is “only” two miles away!

One of the neat byproducts of my post-collegiate career has been it is had drawn Amy and I closer together. You’d think that since we are only two years apart that we’d always have been great friends, but growing up, we were both pretty independent and into very different things. Amy was a tomboy in the full sense of the word. She wouldn’t wear jeans until she was in high school because they were “too girly” and preferred khaki cargo pants. I was naturally your typical girl, wanting Barbie and curling my own hair. It wasn’t until we went to college that we began to really appreciate what we did have in common, and now that I have gotten to spend so much time with her on the East Coast, we have developed a friendship that I deeply treasure.

When I arrived in Boston for Indoor Nationals, Amy as always had an itinerary of fun activities lined up for Ryan and I. One night we went to see Spirit of the Marathon, the movie made on the five runners training for the LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon. I thought it was fabulously made and came away inspired not only for my race that weekend but to one day run the marathon competitively! Although it will likely not be as easy as Deena and Ryan make it look! I gained further inspiration from watching Ryan do a marathon simulation on the treadmill (due to heavy snow in Boston) the morning of my race, though I only had to run for four minutes!

As far as the race, it was unlike any 1500-meter race I have ever run! Cristin [Wurth]’s huge move shocked us all out of our pedestrian early pace, and though I almost PRed for 800 meters in my last half of the race, it wasn’t enough to catch either Jenelle [Deatherage] or her. I have to give a lot of credit to both Cristin and Jenelle for running such strong and gutsy races- I know they will represent the US well in Valencia at worlds, but as for me, it was really disappointing to place third and not make the team—all of a sudden the feelings of last spring came flooding back when I came so close to making it to the World Championships outdoors. As I write this now the wound is still fresh, but returning here to the Olympic Training Center provides a reminder of my overall goal for the season—to make the team to Beijing! There are Olympic rings everywhere, from the weight room to the dining hall, and they remind me to keep my eyes focused on July, when hopefully all the hard work, various race experiences, and even the tears shed along the way will prove to not have been in vain.

After the race, Ryan and I joined Amy and her boyfriend for dinner. It was late and our options were limited, but we fortunately found a PF Chang’s China Bistro. As I sat fighting back tears while eating my Chinese food, I realized it was a fitting way to end the night. No, I wouldn’t be heading to Spain in a few weeks, but it’s time to set my sights completely on China, and not look back!

February 8, 2008 (Posted Feburary 11, 2008)

Today I had one of my best workouts in my career, and I have drawn one strong correlation to which I attribute my success- Mexican food. My best workouts have always been after a trip down across the border including lots of good Mexican grub. I’m not talking Taco Bell, but the real, authentic greasy taco stands across the border where your carne asada likely includes bits of lengua (tongue) or cabeza (brain). This past weekend, Ryan and I went to Tiajuana with some staff from an organization called World Vision to check out some of their projects there, which was awesome, as were the tacos!

Similarly, last spring, my season made a turnaround after Ryan and I returned from a short trip to Mexico. We had eaten lunch on our way north in a port city called “Puerto Nuevo”, which is known for its lobster. You can eat unlimited lobster, homemade tortillas, beans and rice (and a margarita if you’re into that) for $10 US. After lunch, we crossed the border and returned to the Olympic Training Center where I had to do a track workout later that afternoon. That workout was a breakthrough day for me after a series of “blah” workouts, and I sensed it was because of my ridiculously good lunch. And after my workout today, I’m now convinced!

Until last weekend, it had been awhile since I had had decent Mexican food. I just returned from a three-weekend stint on the east coast (seriously lacking in this culinary area) where I competed in the New Balance, Reebok Boston, and Millrose Indoor Games. All three, as usual, were great events, all in their own unique way. My first two performances were kind of rocky, (4:33 at the Armory in NY and 4:35 at Boston) which I usually expect to a certain degree as it takes me a few weeks being at sea-level to find my stride. The week after Boston, leading up to Millrose, I felt my speed come around and became excited for the race! At Millrose, I finally felt like myself out there and although I came up 8 hundredths of a second short, it was a great race and a memorable night! I know I will treasure the memories of running on that track before an audience that, from my perspective, could have easily been watching a boxing match! I hope that they will continue to uphold the tradition of the Millrose Games in years to come.

Although I love being on the racing circuit and would race every weekend if I could, it was great to get back and see Ryan and Kai (our puppy). And it is good to be back in training mode where I can hit the weights hard and not worry that I will be sore for the race (Yesterday we were doing med ball throws, and Steve Slattery reminded me of this. There were only 17lb. med balls, and when I started to look for something lighter, he said “This isn’t Snowcreek (our gym in Mammoth) anymore, this is the freakin’ Olympic Training Center, take it up a notch!”). I find myself anticipating workouts with excitement, looking forward to seeing what I can do in comparison to last month. At this point in the season, improvement comes in leaps and bounds, which is fun! In my workouts now I am visualizing racing Indoor Nationals in Boston. It will be a great opportunity for me to practice competing to make a team (the World team in Valencia, Spain) and build skills I can use for the Trials! Four and a half months left, powered on by my secret weapon: carne asada!

November 24, 2007 (Posted November 26, 2007)

The last few years the fall has been a strange season for me. Stemming from my high school and college days, it always conjures up anxious feelings of excitement for cross country season and a new school year. As if in tune with the weather turning, it has always marked an urgency that Nationals is upon me and the need to be fit and ready. Now, without the fall cross country season, I am left with those same feelings, yet am stuck in a body that feels far from fit and race-ready after just completing a season and taking a break. It is too soon to get amped up for the Olympic Trials at the end of June, and so I struggle to pace my enthusiasm. However, due to the recent events that occurred in New York City, I have gained a different kind of enthusiasm and intensity towards my training.

November 3 will always be a memorable day for me. Never before have I felt such an intense mix of emotions. I was elated as I watched Ryan dominate the final miles of the marathon trials, rejoicing the whole way, living out his dream of becoming an Olympian. It had been a long road getting to this point, mentally and physically, for both of us. Back in August, Ryan went through a period where his training was going so poorly that he had started to give up hope on his dream and wonder if he should even show up on race day. To compound the issue, I was in Europe, helpless to support him besides calling him from my computer in Belgium. I thought about those days as I watched the relief on his face when he broke the tape.

However, our joy came to a halt an hour later when our agent, Ray Flynn, reported the news of Ryan Shay. We were shocked. Both of us had just gone on a run with Ryan and Alicia the day before the race and he seemed as healthy and excited as my husband Ryan. In the next few days, Alicia and I spent some time together, with little talking and mostly crying. However, one thing she said to me while we were on a run in Central Park was, “Just remember, that we have been called to live ‘for such a time as this’ “. Coming from a verse in the Bible (Esther 4:14), this verse refers to a young Jewish woman Esther who, because she had been appointed queen, was given a unique opportunity to save her people from ensuing genocide. Her uncle Mordecai reminds her, “And who knows whether you have attained royalty for such a time as this?”

It wasn’t unusual that Alicia was mentioning this to me- it was something she often reminded me of while in college, before big races or important events, but in this instance it took on new meaning. There is more urgency to pursue the things to which you’re called with courage and intentionality when life is unpredictable and tomorrow is not promised to us. My goal for this next season as I train for the goals God has put before me is to train, race and live with this courage and intentionality, knowing that I have been created “for such a time as this”. And in doing so, I hope to honor Ryan Shay. . .

October 4, 2007 (Posted October 10, 2007)

A long season came to a close last weekend in New York City where I set out to defend my Fifth Avenue Mile title. All season I had told myself that no matter how tired I was at the end of the year, I would do Fifth Avenue, because it is an incredible event unlike any other the entire year. Fortunately I had some juice left in my legs and it made the decision to continue my training for another month, an easy one! As I endured the snow up in Mammoth the weekend before the race, I just kept telling myself, "Just make it to Wednesday!" when I would head off for New York City.

Fifth Avenue Mile is more like a celebration than your typical race. The weekend is filled with incredible meals, running amidst the fall leaves in beautiful Central Park, and hanging out with fellow runners all poised and ready to celebrate a long year and all the energy that goes into it. New York Road Runners always puts on an incredible event, and their hospitality makes it a treat to come compete. The more I race, the more I have come to appreciate the little things that they do to make our trip enjoyable. From gigantic steak lunches to letting all athletes stay over the night after the race so that they can celebrate the night in New York City, they always go above and beyond.

I had the treat of rooming with Yuriko Kobaiyashi, the Japanese record holder in the 1500 meters. It was fun seeing all the differences in how she prepared for a race, and realized that a great deal of what we as athletes believe to "work" leading up to our race is largely a product of our environment.

Saturday morning, I rushed to get ready and fit in some time to French braid Sara Slattery's hair. As we warmed up, I savored the excitement in the air as waves of races started every few minutes and runners milled around eating bagels. One of the reasons New York is a great place to race is the sheer number of spectators that turn up in droves to cheer you on!

As I stepped out on the line, I had a brief scare when I realized I had forgotten my hip numbers. Oops. I still haven't learned after all these years! I had to rush back to the tent, lost my place on the line, and had to start on the very outside. This made it hard in the early stages of the race to get in contact with the leaders, and I found myself off to somewhat of a slow start. As we started to crest the hill around the 800 meter mark, I made a decisive move not only forwards, but to my left where the lead pack had formed. As we started to run downhill, I opened up my stride and tried to close the gap between me and Carmen Douma, Kim Smith, and Amy Mortimer.

The race is somewhat a blur in my mind as it went by so fast, but I finished in third place close behind Carmen Douma and Amy Mortimer. After the race, it took me a while to recover; my lungs burned the entire day, and I lost my breakfast in the bushes. But amidst the pain, I was grinning inside that I had just completed my last mile of the 2006-2007 season! I didn't cool down except the 400 meters back to the hotel, and the rest of the day was spent celebrating with friends and family. New York Road Runners took us out to a feast at an amazing Italian restaurant, and then I joined my mom and sister for the Vendy Awards in the East Village, an event designed to promote awareness and support for the many food vendors throughout New York City. The event was a iron chef-style contest between five finalists, each cooking up amazing ethnic food for all of us to taste and vote on the winner. It was a perfect event to really experience New York in its fullness (and my pick, "the Dosa man", won!)

Now that I am back up in Mammoth Lakes, my own training has ended, but I have continued attending practice periodically to serve as support crew for Ryan at his workouts. I've been riding the bike with him to encourage him and give him fluids as he prepares for the Olympic Trials on November 3 in the marathon. It is such a different perspective as a spectator than actually undergoing the training, and I am always inspired by how hard he can push himself, especially on 15 mile tempo runs!

Now that I am not thinking about training and racing, I have also gained such an incredible sense of how blessed I am to live in beautiful Mammoth Lakes, to be part of such a great team, to get to do what I love everyday, and especially for my new training partner, Kai (a miniature Siberian Husky that joined our family two weeks ago!). Looking back, the frustrations and stresses of the season seem so silly, and I am reminded again that running is about the journey that God is taking me on, and the lessons he is teaching me along the way. I had my fair share of ups and downs this season, but I know that they have all made me a more seasoned runner and will make me more prepared for my quest of making the Olympic team next year.

In the meantime, I can't wait to return to New York City for what I know will be another incredible trip- hopefully I started a trend of top three finishes in NYC for Ryan to continue at the Trials!

Summer 2007 (Posted August 9, 2007)

I am writing this from my musty dorm room in Leuven, Belgium where I have been based since coming over to Europe in early July, listening to the rain pelting my window and wondering why I didn't stay in Spain! It's been a lot colder and wetter in Belgium than last summer, but enjoyable nonetheless. I feel like we've returned to our college days, biking around campus, competing for the washer and dryers, seeing fellow American runners so often that they are starting to feel like teammates… It's been a great environment to both do what you need to do to race well but have fun in the process.

Since I last wrote a blog, I had just started my season of experimentation with 1500 meter training. Now that it's the end of July with a number of 15s under my belt, the only question on my mind is, "Why didn't I do this sooner?" I have been enjoying every bit of the training and racing, loving the shorter, more explosive nature. It has been fun to challenge myself to see how fast I can get my basic speed down to. Until this year, I had never really attempted to run faster than 60 sec for a quarter in practice, or run a 200 faster than 29. But each workout has not only broadened my expectations of what is possible, it has taught me not to put limits on myself so easily. The races, as always, have had their ups and downs much like any other season, one down point being recently getting tripped and falling flat on my face in the 1500 in Madrid, a race I thought was going to be where I popped a big one. And it was a great scenario to run fast… besides there being 19 runners on a 6 lane track. But every competitive athlete must weather the storms, and I am setting my sights on this weekend, where I will run a 1500 at Heusden here in Belgium against a competitive international field, including many fellow Americans. It will be a great chance to chase the Olympic A-standard (4:07) and start the ball rolling in preparation for making the Olympic team this time next year!

In the meantime, off the track I am enjoying having Ryan here in Europe with me. It is a sacrifice for him to be here and not up at altitude, where his training thrives. This year we have had to both compromise in some ways and are learning how to balance pursuing our own careers with supporting each other. Despite the race, we had a great weekend in Madrid, getting to see a lot in such a short time period. One of the highlights was seeing a real bull fight in the Plaza del Toros! I think we gained new respect for the people that run with the bulls after seeing them up close! The nightlife in Madrid was incredible, the city didn't really awaken until after midnight. We enjoyed some hot chocolate and churros alongside young and old Spaniards, fueling up for the discoteques. It was fun to practice my Spanish some more, though their accent is different than the Spanish spoken in Mexico that I am used to and was hard to understand at times. I hope to return next year and stay on my feet this time!

Before Madrid I ran a low-key 1500 in Gent, Belgium in 4:09, winning the race and having my best closing lap so far this season. I was relieved to have made it through the race because two days before I had run an 800 in Belgium, and ever since then, my second toe was jammed to the point where it was painful just to walk, much less run. I debated about whether or not to run the 1500, and went into the race thinking, "this could be your last one, better make it count!" Fortunately my foot has since healed, and I have more races ahead. But it was a good reminder to me that tomorrow is not promised to anyone, and to make every race and every day count.

My life continues to be spontaneous as I don't know where I will be spending the next few months. Races in Europe will shut down a few weeks prior to and during the world championships, so at some point I will head back to the States, maybe to return to Europe for the second half of the racing circuit. Missing the World team by less than a second has continued to be painful, as I would love to be wearing that USA singlet in the 1500 in Japan just as I had envisioned all season. But coming so close has made me determined to do whatever I can so that it isn't close at all next year! I know that I'm in the right place to maximize my preparation for the trials in 2008. But my goal is not just to make the team, I want to be competitive once I'm at the Olympic Games, and that starts this summer, getting experience competing against international competition whenever possible.

So the journey continues! I am spurred on by the inspiration of Ryan's breakthrough this year and going into every race saying, "this could be my breakthrough, this could be my Houston or London!" I feel on the verge of a big breakthrough, so hopefully I will have some good news to report soon! In the meantime, I am doing my best to live out Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men.”

May 11, 2007 (Posted May 11, 2007)

"Tu y yo, tu y yo!" screamed Dulce, lining up at the dirt line marking our race course. A vivacious five-year-old and a fierce competitor, Dulce was one of the many orphans at Rancho de Sus Ninos, an orphanage outside of Tijuana, Mexico, where Ryan and I spent some time recently. She wasn't afraid of anyone, be it a teenage boy twice her size or one of the gringos (us) that had showed up the day before and claimed to be professional runners. With her sandals flying into the air as she ran barefoot through the dirt and gravel, around the tree and back, I marveled at her wild eyes and giant grin. Running all out and competing for her was pure delight!

Ryan and I were surprised how quickly all the kids took to the running relays. As soon as they were done, while still panting with their hands grasping their waists, they wanted us to time them again to see if they could go faster. Obviously they didn't understand the concept of recovery! It was the same with the pushups we did afterwards. They wanted to do pushups (on the hot concrete, no less) to failure, and then after laying there for a few seconds in agony, would pop up and want to try to break their own record or outdo the kid next to them! It was so fun as an athlete to see their attitudes. They weren't worried about having the right shoes, or how hot it was, or if they were going to get dirty or burn their hands. They just wanted to compete, and better their own performances. Someone once quoted for me, "In the joy of going all out, I forgot my pain". How true for these kids!

It was refreshing to gain this perspective, and a good reminder for my own training and competing. As I returned to the Olympic Training Center, I not only had this renewed appreciation for the essence of our sport, but for the quality of life that I have. It's amazing to be immersed in such immense poverty a mere ten miles from where I live. I always feel blessed to have all that I do, and yet when I step away from it I gain a further appreciation for the extent to all the areas in which I am truly blessed. I hope that one day my running can contribute more than to my own personal enjoyment and fulfillment, but that somehow I can use it to work against the injustice I see in so many areas of the world. In the meantime, I am enjoying running with a wild-eyed enthusiasm like Dulce, realizing that God has given me all I have for a purpose!

March 12, 2007 (Posted March 14, 2007)

Millrose

As I set out for another run around Jamaica Pond in Boston, there was a little more spring in my step than usual. It was the week leading up to Millrose, and I had been staying with my sister since the New Balance Indoor Games at the Armory. After two sub-par 4:32 mile performances, I had an unsatisfied taste in my mouth. Not to mention after having watched the American Record set in the 3000 at Boston, I knew that the bar had been raised for female US distance runners. My stride matched the quick rhythm of the music from my iPod as my mind drifted to the challenge set before me this weekend. I wanted to be part of the momentum going on in American distance running, I wanted to come away from a race without the “coulda woulda shoulda”… and I knew that would take one thing- winning the 3000 meters at the Millrose Games.

Even as my thoughts swirled around the upcoming race, the rational part of my brain protested, “But Dibaba is in your race! Did you not see her set the world record in the 5000-meter race last weekend? That’s almost a minute faster than your PR!” I tuned this voice out with Ryan’s voice instead, “Anyone is beatable because everyone has good days and bad days”. I secretly hoped it would be an off day for her.

Taking the train into New York, I was joined by Ryan who had fortunately flown out for a press conference. It was great to be reunited after two weeks, and we looked forward to going to the Gala dinner in the Rainbow Room together the night before the race. After searching last minute for a pair of shoes that wouldn’t kill my feet (it was the night before the race, after all), we took the elevator up to the top of Rockefeller Center and enjoyed quite a night! Most of the athletes that had been inducted into the Millrose Hall of Fame had come back to celebrate the meet’s 100th Anniversary, and the evening really made me appreciate the history behind what I was about to take part in. After hearing Mary Slaney talk about running the mile after flying in from Australia the day before, I convinced myself that if she could win after that, then the cold I was fighting off was not a big deal. I enjoyed meeting new people in the “running world” throughout the night, though my voice was so raspy it was barely audible. And the dinner was quite an event… I hoped that my 16 oz. filet mignon sufficed as a pre-race meal!

The day of the race ironically passed slowly yet quickly, as it always does with night races. I headed over with Jen and we dropped our stuff, opting to warm up outside in the rain. We joked about this and that and planned to go get New York-style pizza and sundaes at the world famous Serendipity Three after the race. Heading inside, I saw Dibaba and the other Ethiopian girl jogging around slowly. It never seems like they warm up as intensely as we Americans do! In the call area, Dibaba was looking around at the four other competitors with a stern expression on her face. Basically, she was staring us down. I tried to get up the nerve to stare right back, but chickened out, smiling to myself as I put on my spikes. That just isn’t me, I don’t run to beat people, I run to do my best and use others to get the most out of myself.

As we stripped off our sweats, I couldn’t help but notice that my legs felt swollen, as if full of water, a feeling I sometimes get when I’m overly hydrated. It’s amazing how after the hundreds of races I’ve done, I still wonder what foods will sit well and how much to drink the day of the race! Oh well, it’s over now, here we go! I said a quick prayer, stepped up to the line, and we were off… 21 laps!

I got out well, right behind the rabbit, but soon I saw someone come up next to me, commanding the inside. I glanced to the side and saw it was Dibaba, so I didn’t mind letting her cut in, and glued my eyes to the back of her top. The small track didn’t seem that weird to run on, nor did the banks seem overly high, and I just tried to relax as much as possible. The rabbit went out just as planned, clocking 69-70 for the first lap and finishing the thousand in 2:55. After paying attention to that, I vowed not to look at the clock or the lap counter again. From here on out, it didn’t matter, I was going for the win and was going to stick to her as long as I could. Unfortunately, I heard someone shouting “4:40, 4:41” and knew that we were still on a quick pace through the mile. After that, the only voice I heard was Ryan’s, and it had taken on the crazed tone that it rarely does- only when he’s really excited! He was pounding on something and yelling at me, “you’re gonna do it, you got this one!” It made me excited to hear him, and as we went round and round I still felt comfortable and I began to believe I really could win this race!

This fantasy was strengthened with every glance she made over her shoulder and the increasingly anxious tone in her coach’s voice as he shouted to her in their dialect. As the hurt started to creep in, I tried to picture a rope tied around her waist that was pulling me along each lap and telling myself, “You’re gonna do it Sara, get excited!” Just before the third lap, the imaginary rope snapped as Dibaba surged right before the finish line. I tried to muster a response, but the gap kept growing. “Less than 400 meters to go!,” I tried to tell myself, now aware of the lap counter, but it felt like so much longer considering the number of laps. I hurled my body forward, limbs flailing and breathing getting more and more spastic, until I crossed the line and stopped, not a step further! A runner finishing behind me knocked me a little bit and my legs collapsed, and I found myself on my hands and knees, gasping. After being helped off the track, I knew I looked like a drama queen, but I didn’t care- I was spent, and my asthmatic breathing was not getting me the oxygen I so desperately needed!

After an unnecessary trip to the med tent, a brief cool down, and puking up a quart of water in drug testing (I knew I had over-hydrated!), I finally felt better. I needed to get in some mileage, so I sent Ryan and Jen ahead in a cab while I ran to the pizzeria. As I ran along Time Square, dodging people and marveling at the dizzying lights above me, I knew I had just run a race I will never forget. I knew the next time I raced Dibaba; I would look at her differently, not as someone who was a multiple world record holder and world champion, but as just another competitor who can be beat. Maybe she was just toying with me that night, but I have come away from the race with a greater ability to picture myself running with the best in the world. And that’s the first step- before you can be the best, you have to be able to picture it and believe you can do it. And that night in New York gave me a small snapshot.

December 8, 2006 Entry (Posted December 15, 2006)

Fortunately, since my last journal entry, 2006 has gained a happy ending! After returning from Europe, I knew that I wasn’t done with my season. I had worked so hard all year and knew that I was in the best shape of my life, regardless of my times on the track. So Terrence and I looked over the schedule of races in August and September and decided to go after a few more before calling it quits.

Not long after returning from Belgium, I headed out to Falmouth to run the mile. I ended up PRing, although placing fifth out of five is never fun! I decided to hop in the 7-mile road race the next day- I mean, why not? It ended up being a pretty warm day and, well, needless to say, it was a long race! I had never taken water in a race before, and didn’t really know how to while running so fast, and it caught up to me! After I finally crossed the finish line, I was staggering around and was led into the med tent where I was thrown into a tub of ice water, my briefs pulled off, exposing my butt to all others present in the tent, and a thermometer jammed up it. “105 degrees, wow, we’re not letting you out until you’re [temperature] is under 99 degrees.” A dozen more attempts and a lot of shivering later, I was finally released from the ice tub to enjoy the post race festivities and the beautiful Cape Cod coastline.

While we slept on the decision, we headed up to Mammoth to join our teammates. It proved to be the right thing to do, as my training greatly improved with people to work out with. Terrence hopped in some of my workouts with me, which was great because I could let my competitive juices come out (something that you don’t do with teammates) and we raced up and down the hills of Shady Rest. During this time, I was also figuring out how to deal with my asthma, which seemed to have gotten worse over the course of the year and possibly the culprit behind some of my unexplainable track races. I began using an inhaler and making sure my blood sugar was stable before working out, and it seemed to help. After putting in some long strength training, something I greatly needed after tapering so long, I felt a lot stronger and more prepared for the races ahead.

While in Falmouth, Ryan called and said he and my sister-in-law had found us a house in Big Bear Lake, where Ryan grew up. In fact, they had already put down a deposit! I anxiously Google earthed and zoomed in as close as I could, but couldn’t see much. When I returned, we went straight to the house, and I agreed it would be a good “home base” for us, even if we wouldn’t be training there the majority of the year. At last, homeless no longer!

While we slept on the decision, we headed up to Mammoth to join our teammates. It proved to be the right thing to do, as my training greatly improved with people to work out with. Terrence hopped in some of my workouts with me, which was great because I could let my competitive juices come out (something that you don’t do with teammates) and we raced up and down the hills of Shady Rest. During this time, I was also figuring out how to deal with my asthma, which seemed to have gotten worse over the course of the year and possibly the culprit behind some of my unexplainable track races. I began using an inhaler and making sure my blood sugar was stable before working out, and it seemed to help. After putting in some long strength training, something I greatly needed after tapering so long, I felt a lot stronger and more prepared for the races ahead.

Meanwhile, we were following the progress of teammates Jen, Gabe and Lauren over in Europe. It was weird to think of them still on the track, when I felt I had already moved on to a different season. One morning, we anxiously crowded around Terrence as Ray Flynn (our manager) text messaged him updates on Jen’s 5K race in Brussels. When we saw her final time, 14:55, we all hollered with excitement. I was so excited for her, but as I drove back to our condo, I couldn’t help tearing up, thinking, “Why wasn’t that me? I worked out with Jen all spring!” Seeing her success gave me further confidence and determination to succeed in my last two races of the season: the US 5K Championships in Providence and the Continental Airlines Fifth Avenue Mile in New York City.

The 5K in Providence went just as planned. I ran with the other US women until two miles, when I decided to start going after the other non-American women in the field that were coming back on us, a move uncharacteristic of me. As I started to push the pace, only Amy Rudolph hung with me, and as we ran up the long hill to the finish, I thought we had caught all the women in the field and were running not only for the US title, but the race win as well. As I charged to the line, I saw the tape being rolled out, and then someone running through it right in front of me. It wasn’t until after I crossed the line that I realized there had been a woman from Belarus that finished right in front of me who had short hair and thus, from my perspective, blended in with the other men in the field finishing. Oops! Although I was frustrated with myself for not having paid better attention, I was more than content with my US title, which was my goal going into the race.

I returned to Big Bear, started to move into our new house, and enjoyed my last few weeks of training. With only a mile race left, I felt I was hardly training! “Wow, I like being a miler!” I commented to Ryan after completing my 40-minute runs or 200-meter track sessions.

When I arrived in New York, we had a technical meeting where David Monti told us, “We know for many of you, this is your last race. You’re probably tired and ready for a break after such a long year. So we want you to just go out and enjoy the race as a celebration of your season. And we are having the race on Saturday so that afterwards, you can party and celebrate the year!” I thought that was such a neat perspective. Rarely do you go to a race with this atmosphere, and the weekend proved to be exactly as he said, a celebration of the season. It was fun to walk the streets of New York with the other athletes that only a year ago, were mere acquaintances, but that I know consider to be friends. We all warmed up together in Central Park, and headed up to 80th Street for the start.

The race was unlike any other I have run. The gun went off and in a rush of adrenaline we started flying down the street. The course is a net downhill, with one short hill around 800 meters. At this point, Kim Smith made a move to break the field. I had been tucked in behind the first row of women since there was a slight headwind, but I moved around and covered the move, as did Erin Donohue. Erin moved around 400 meters, and I went with her, and then broke away with 200 meters to go. I felt back to my old self again, unleashing my kick rather than fading backwards as I often had in track. It was a great way to end the season, and no better place to celebrate than New York City!

I made another trip to New York a month later to watch the ING New York City Marathon with Ryan, who is thinking of running the trials there next year. I had no idea that marathons were such a production! I was very impressed with how New York Road Runners handled everything, from organizing a the Continental Airlines International Friendship Run for all the international runners to amazing dinners and celebrations to transporting the 37,000 participants to the starting line by bus and boat. And there couldn’t have been a more ideal setting than finishing in Central Park with the colorful fall leaves floating down on the race finishers- it looked truly magical! It made me excited to get out and compete again!

As I look ahead to another year, I am so grateful to be a part of Team Running USA and to New York Road Runners for making it possible. Thanks to them, I have been given all the tools I need to succeed, which is an exciting and hopeful place to be. And having teammates and a full-time coach makes the process so much more enjoyable, something that I realize is a rare gift! On to 2007!

Summer 2006 Entry (posted August 15, 2006)

As Ryan and I stuffed every last inch of our duffle bags, we chatted about what the summer may hold with high hopes and excitement. Would we end our season at the meet in Rieti and enjoy a much-needed break in beautiful Cinque Terre? Or travel to St. Moritz, Switzerland, during the 2-week break from races during the European Championships for a high altitude boost? The future was uncertain as we left the quiet confines of the Olympic Training Center in Chula Vista to begin our travels by flying to Indianapolis. The plan was to race Outdoor Nationals and head straight from there to Belgium, which would serve as a home base for us while in Europe.

The trip got off to a rocky start with our first race in Indiana. I had hoped to compete for the title, and had run a smart race and placed myself in a position to win, but with two laps to go, ran out of steam and fell apart. It was a disappointment, as I had felt very prepared going into the race, but I knew that I needed to learn from it, move on, and rebound fast because there was more racing to be done.

We left for Belgium a few days later, and ran at a small meet in Aalst to get the flight out of our legs. I ran the 1500, and had a positive race that ended up surprisingly close to my PR. It was what I needed to put Nationals behind me and regain my confidence. And I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to run as fast as I did considering the amount of sight-seeing Ryan and I did in Ghent, an intriguing medieval city we had visited the day before. Sometimes we just can’t restrain ourselves from being tourists! But after this race, we made a pact to put running first on this trip, and save the sight-seeing for after we were done racing.

Though I wondered at the time whether Ryan was going to be able to restrain my curiosity and love for exploration, the next few weeks proved that it was possible. After the race in Aalst, we settled into our student dorm in Leuven, where we would spend most of the low-key month of July. Leuven, a fun university town filled with young people, proved to be the perfect choice for a home base. The first day we arrived, I went running and was delighted to find miles of beautiful wooded trails, minutes from our doorstep. The track was also close, and within walking distance lay a downtown, filled with restaurants, shops, and places to connect to the internet (very important!). The only downside was an uncharacteristic heat wave that swept through Belgium, posting record-breaking highs, and our dorm, and most public places, lacked air-conditioning. This seemed to only continue Mike’s theme for the year of “This never happens.” However, once we bought fans, it seemed that all agreed we were quite happy in Leuven, and were very grateful to Ray Flynn for setting it up for us.

Soon after our arrival, we took a long train ride to Lucerne, Switzerland, for a 3K. Lucerne was beautiful, and though I wished that we were staying longer to get to enjoy the area, this trip was short and all business. On race day, the setting seemed to be out of a dream: the weather was perfect, and as I did my last few pre-race strides on the track, the sun set behind a row of majestic mountains and I decided it was a great day for something magical to happen. Though the magic didn’t come quite how I had hoped, I did run a PR in the race, though I was somewhat dissatisfied in how I competed and thought I was being a little too timid.

After Lucerne, I had a great chunk of time before my next race: a 5K in Leige. This was the one I had been looking forward to and pointing toward all season. I could still remember sitting with Terrence in Mammoth, going over my racing schedule for Europe way in advance, and having him say “and here in Liege will be our chance to really hit it,” and by that meaning go after the A-standard, which was one of my goals for the season. A slight blip in this plan came when I found out that I had been moved into the B-heat. However, there was no use in letting this foil the plan, and I set out with the goal of 15:08 in mind, The race went out perfectly, but once the rabbits pulled out, it slowed significantly. I took the lead with a few laps to go and tried to push it along, an uncharacteristic move for me, but failed to come close to the A-standard. However, it was still a PR and I was encouraged by how comfortable I felt despite recovering from a cold and more confident than ever that the A-standard was in me, making me excited to race a faster 5K in London in a week.

Unfortunately, once again the plan took an unexpected turn. We were soon notified that the 5K had been changed to a 3K. As much as I love the 3K, I had hoped to get another shot at the A-standard. However, as Terrence said, you just gotta “roll with the punches”, and so I shifted my excitement to wanting to run a fast 3K, one that would hopefully get me into a fast 5K later in the summer. I’d like to report that this is exactly what happened, and that I am enjoying time in Leuven preparing for just this, however, the race was about as far from successful as possible. After a blistering early pace, I fell off pretty badly and was unable to salvage a respectable finish. It was disappointing, to say the least, knowing that most likely in those 9 minutes I had foregone any opportunity to get into a 5K later in the summer, all of which were Golden League races and extremely competitive to get into. It seemed that my goal of coming home with the A-standard would have to wait until next track season.

These moments after disappointing races are so surreal, in which months of training spent in preparation for this moment flash before your eyes. The grueling workouts, the sacrifices made… was it all in vain? Though disappointment in this situation is inevitable, I choose not to believe that one race or one failed goal can define the success or failure of a season. Though I had not achieved what I had set out to at the start of the year, in the process I had undoubtedly taken leaps of growth as a runner. I had tested myself and pushed my limits further than ever before. And I know that training has a cumulative effect not just in making me more physiologically prepared next year, but also more prepared mentally, to be more confident, aggressive, and mindful of my body.

Though the season didn’t end up including a stay in the Swiss Alps or end on a beach in Italy, Ryan and I are still excited and hopeful for the many races that are in our future. Each race is a new opportunity to use the gift we’ve been given to the fullest, and we feel extremely blessed to travel the world and enjoy this gift!

Introductory Entry

Fresh off our Honeymoon to Costa Rica, Ryan and I were excited to get up to Mammoth and start training camp with the rest of the team. We were a little nervous about being so out of shape, but came to terms with the fact that we would likely get our heads handed to us day after day. Surprisingly, Ryan made a quick adjustment and kept up just fine, with him and Ian clicking off workouts together just like old times at Stanford. I on the other hand, felt as though I had entered boot camp! It seemed like we were doing some form of training at all waking hours, whether it be afternoon runs, plyometric drills at Shady Rest campground, weights at Snowcreek Athletic Club, Speed Ladder to improve leg turnover… On top of our primary morning workouts! Although it was a challenge, I loved every minute of it. It was so neat to do so many activities and work on fine tuning the little areas like form and turnover that I had wanted to do in college, but could never find time under the rigorous academic load. I guess that’s what being a professional runner is all about, having the time to do all that you can to be the best you can be. And it did feel like a full-time job, although more fun and rewarding than any other!

As the weather began to turn, I, being a warm-blooded California girl, was not opposed to heading down to Woodside for some warmer runs at sea level. I also looked forward to moving into our house, located in the woods near Huddardt Park, the trails where we did our long runs at Stanford. Though I had longed to do all my weekly runs at Huddardt during the week while at Stanford, I could never find many partners as there always seemed to be an academic commitment to rush back for. So I was delighted to be immersed in God’s creation on every run, right from my door! There were miles of trails that I hadn’t even known existed before! It was also nice to workout on my “home track” at the Stanford campus, with all its positive associations. In the bay area, we had access to the most knowledgeable massage therapists at Stanford Myofacial Institute, weight room facilities on the Stanford Campus and at Alpine Hills athletic club, and a nice steep hill up to the team’s house to do grueling hill repeats! It was a great sea level location to do the bulk of our fast training to get us ready for the Indoor and Cross-Country season.

When I left for Moscow at the beginning of March, I left the comfort of our Woodside home base to live out of a bag for a month and a half, traveling completely around to globe. After a less-than-ideal situation at the indoor world championships (doing long runs in smoky hotel hallways with Carrie Tollefson!), it was a breath of fresh air (literally) to head to Japan 3 weeks before the World Championships. I stayed at the Nihon Aerobics Center, a training center for Japanese athletes and countryside retreat for the general public, and was soon joined by Ryan, Ian, and Jorge Torres. The four of us had decided to run a cross-country race in Chiba as a tune up and to get us adjusted for the big show in Fukuoka. This new training site was a cross between my days at summer youth camp and the OTC in Chula Vista. We stayed in rustic cabins amidst the cherry blossoms, ate fish, rice, and miso soup for breakfast, and tried to pick up a few phrases (unsuccessfully!) while working out on a beautiful outdoor track. It was everything we needed to get ready for Worlds, and we got to enjoy a beautiful place and hospitable people in the meantime. And it paid off come April 2nd when we lined up fully confident that we had “acclimated” in the full sense of the word.

The 4k race was unlike any other race I have ever run. I knew that it would get out hard, but I wasn’t prepared for how the race would be affected by the 60 mph winds! I didn’t get the greatest start and found myself in a sea of people, flying up steep hills and around tight turns. When the field finally strung out a little, it was difficult to move up and fight the wind simultaneously. It seemed as though positions didn’t change much from the first kilometer to the finish. All in all, I was pleased with my placing and knew that I gave it all I had, but it made me hungry to be more competitive up front in the future. Although there will be no more 4k * sniff * I look forward to a return to World Cross, hopefully next year in Kenya!