Stephanie Pezzullo's Journal

March 30, 2008 Entry (Posted April 1, 2008)

So what can a running journal entry really look like coming from a runner who hasn’t run for almost a year? Well, to clarify, it’s only been a little over 3 months since my actual ankle surgery. However, my accident in the steeplechase was last June, which has seemed like a lifetime. It’s been absolutely amazing how one fall has changed my life in so many ways. Instead of living in the mountains at ZAP, I’ve been working in Charlotte trying to catch up on some pretty hefty medical bills. And although I’ve been cross training on the bike and in the pool, the volume and intensity is just now starting to pick up. I have to admit, I am still trying to get used to training at slow, long, aerobic paces where you can have full conversations for hours on end. I tend to prefer the 20-30 minute, hard, all-out workouts, where you get tired and then are done. Beyond workouts being slow paced, life in general has been slower since my fall last June and slow living is something I have never been accustomed to. But as I have mentioned before, this injury has taught me patience in more ways than one.

I could talk all day long about how much I miss the running; the competing, racing, training, and everything else that comes with it. I could talk about how much I miss running outside on a beautiful day or about how I miss going up hills with my fellow ZAP mates. I could talk about how much I miss simple things like running to get the phone, running to beat people in line at the grocery store, or running through a parking lot when I’m late for work. But to be honest, I ‘m hesitant to complain too much, because I am very thankful and somewhat relieved that at least, I’ve had time to process the fact that I won’t be able to run this spring and compete in the Trials. This advanced realization stinks, but I think one of the toughest scenarios in this sport, is to be intentionally training for a big race and then with a month or less out from the race have to face a season ending injury. This is why my thoughts, prayers and concerns really go out to ZAP Founder Zika Rea and any other runner who is contemplating putting the great ’08 on hold. As Zika mentioned in her recent journal entry, she is experiencing this situation first hand. I know there are many other dedicated runners who might have to the pull the plug last minute as well and it really is a tough circumstance to comprehend. It’s frustrating, heart breaking and does make you wonder why we take the chance at all. But I think sometimes you have to do what Zika said. Think about the people you’ve met, the places you’ve been and enjoy the journey while you can. If we knew what tomorrow would bring, what would be the point anyway?

With that said, as I look forward to my future, I have to have faith that for me, things are heading in the right direction towards healing and that I will be back running in God’s timing. The boot is off, and the cast a memory. I’m gaining strength back into my left leg and there’s full range of motion at my ankle joint. I’ve met some people and done some things that I never would have had the chance to do had I not been injured. So just like my running mentor Zika said, I also say “we’ll see what happens.” For now though, I’m off to the bike!

Introductory Entry (Posted January 2, 2008)

As I look and ponder over the journal entries written by my fellow athletes at ZAP Fitness, it’s amazing to see how every athlete has their own story. We all have taken our own individual paths leading to this small yet wonderful running world. Every athlete at ZAP has a story of when and how they started running. Each one of us has a different mindset on how and why we pursue our goals and while training under Coach Pete, each zaplete has made tremendous improvements and progressions. I Pezz, have humbly had, what I see to be a huge opportunity to be involved in the lives of all the ZAP athletes. I know that just like I grew up going through the many ups and downs of playing soccer, these athletes have each had their own internal rollercoaster ride throughout their running careers. Thanks to them, I have had a two-year crash course on what it takes to be a successful runner and have seen first hand the different method each one of them takes in training to be on top. So, when Pete told me to write about my story and how I came to be a runner at ZAP, I kind of thought “well that would be a quick one” ……that is….. if I stopped writing before June 2007. You see, because before this month, my career was pretty short and simple. The process of shifting my PSU soccer career, to playing for the semi-pro Charlotte Eagles, to running my first race for ZAP Fitness, was kind of short-lived; six weeks to be exact.

In August, 2005 I finished my last ever semi-professional soccer game for the Charlotte Lady Eagles. In September 2005, I met Coach Pete Rea in what I believed to be a God ordained fashion, while watching my friend play soccer at Clemson. I had a brief chat with Pete about my Penn State athletics. He gave me his card, and I ran my first race for ZAP that October in a local 4 miler. From there, things moved even quicker. I was extremely blessed to have Pete and ZAP founder, Zika Rea provide me with a chance that I never would’ve saw coming in a million years. They gave me a shot to train under the guidance of Pete so I could try to qualify for the Elite ZAP standards. Within 3 weeks, I was sent to Boston for my first ever cross country race, and from then on, I trained and raced for ZAP in all kinds of races all over the country and even around the world! The 18-month ride was exciting. There were some really high quality races, some really poor ones and as any runner might have, some small injuries here and there. But mostly things were always progressing and always improving. Come June 2007, as Pete would say “we were right where we wanted to be.” I was just starting to peak and start my second half of the outdoor season when, BANG! STOP! HAULT! DO NOT PROCEED. I fell in a steeple race and things changed.

So here I am not running, a position that I have been in for basically seven months straight. It’s quite a unique one to be honest. You could call it a big, long setback or you could call it an opportunity. I’ve learned a lot through this injury and am continuing to see things from a different perspective had I not been struck with such a physical hindrance. I don’t want to bore anyone with a long tale of “the many setbacks of Pezz.” I’ll just give a brief overview of the last seven months. I am warning though, some of the details may be graphic and disgusting, so read at your own risk.

When I first fell and hurt my ankle in my second steeplechase race, I felt that God was in control. I still believe that now. I sincerely believe that things don’t just happen and that setbacks and difficulties really do come for a reason…maybe even a greater good J I guess what I didn’t know back when I hurt my ankle, was exactly how bad of a trial the whole thing would be. No one did. We thought it was a really bad ankle sprain, so I crosstrained diligently everyday in the pool and on the bike, while rehabbing ferociously. I tried to make a running comeback about 3-4 months after the accident. With a positive attitude, a lot of adrenaline, and some strong Icy Hot, I really did think it was getting better. But it was never to a point where I could run 100 percent pain free. To make a long story short, I continued to run for about a month and was planning on continuing my training all through the winter and spring, 100 percent or not. However, as proved true many times in my life, “my” plans got distorted.

On a trip to New York City to help with the marathon trials, I found myself in another position of stoppage, this time with severe stomach spasms radiating through my whole abdomen. I was backed up with stool and a CT Scan showed inflammation surrounding my intestines. It ended up being an emergency that kept me in the New York City hospital for two days. It was, no joke, the absolute worst pain I had ever experienced! The only things that helped relieve it were a steady dose of morphine and antibiotics.

I have to admit, it was there alone, sitting in the hospital away from anyone I knew, that I decided I was sick of pain. I decided both my ankle and stomach problems (which I had endured for awhile) were going to get better before I did any serious running or any serious living for that matter. The doctors in New York scheduled all sorts of annoying tests for me in Charlotte to find out what was causing all the inflammation in my intestines. Eventually, we found that I had been experiencing some pretty serious parasitic infections, most likely from a run in with contaminated creek water from the year before. (What can I say, I was thirsty??)

The nastiest part from all of it though, was that my digestive system had been filled with toxic, parasitic worms! All the awful symptoms I was experiencing launched me into a detox process that has been a bigger challenge than any race or game I have ever competed in! It’s been a course of action that I don’t have room to write about. But I will say, seeing worms come out of your body can really give you mixed emotions. I mean, it’s an absolutely sick thing to see, yet at the same time, it’s good they are coming out. So you feel horrified, but at the same time you’re like “Yes! Your dead suckers!”

Anyways, in the midst of all the stomach drama, I decided to get a MRI for my ankle and….. what do you know? The results showed it was more than just a sprain. The ankle specialist said that due to my steeplechase fall, I was missing a big chunk of bone and an even bigger portion of cartilage. I would need surgery, no doubt. So the week after we got a second opinion, I flew to California smack in the middle of my intestinal detox, and got a bone graft surgery. Now, here I am in recovery for another six months.

This all makes me wonder how did someone as impatient as I get through that? And how will I continue to see the light at the end of the tunnel throughout this recovery process? Well, answer number one lies in the fact that I have had amazing and steadfast support from ZAP Fitness. Pete and Zika have continually supported me through all the craziness in more ways than one. Answer number 2; I have friends that you would think were angels sent from God himself! Friends and families in Charlotte who have treated me like their own daughter, even now as I can’t even get myself a cup of water. To have all these people continually care for and invest in me, has been quite a mind- blowing comprehension. I don’t know what I would do without them. But lastly, an even bigger motivation I have had to get better and start competing again is due to the hundreds of thousands of athletes who have been through this and much worse. How many people that I’ve read about, heard about, or met, who have made unbelievable comebacks in all kinds of sports? Just at ZAP alone, there are many examples of athletes who have fought through countless injuries, illnesses or tough seasons and it is them who have propelled my initiative from day one. I’ve seen firsthand their persistence in rehabbing an injury, introducing running again, and in time, becoming more successful than they were before the injury.

In addition, I’ve talked to runners who have gone through similar stomach issues and have read books by all kinds of athletes overcoming the odds. I’ve looked at journal entries and blogs about runners who have struggled with injuries sometimes for five years in a row but they were followed with a breakthrough season that made it all worth it in the end. Yes, I’m the first to admit, my post-June running career has looked bleak. I couldn’t get through all this alone. In fact, I’ve had such timely counsel, advice and encouragement from my supporters that to me the good Lord couldn’t be any clearer; “Forget what’s behind, strain toward what’s ahead and press on to the future.” Yea, I believe God really does carry you through trials; sometimes He likes people to do it : ).