Andrew Carlson's Journal

April 8, 2008 Entry (Posted April 9, 2008)

I am an unbelievable basketball player. (Pause for Matt Gabrielson to get angry). Now maybe I didn’t average 15.9 points per game for the Belmond-Klemme Broncos in Iowa, but I did have a hand in a Discovery Middle School (in Fargo) team championship in 1996. I refused to pass, play defense, or rebound. My inability to jump, make free throws or remember the plays made me a liability to our team, but they kept confidence in me.

I started every game because every now and then I would catch fire. My ball hogging and blatant disregard for the inside game would become our team’s greatest asset. I would circle the 3-point line and shoot the lights out for a short period of time while the other team would try to adjust for my hurricane style of play. Sometimes people would think Fargo was at altitude because I would take everyone’s breath away.

I have never had the feeling of being on fire while running. Everything always seems to have a reason. I think we overanalyze everything to a fault sometimes and limit ourselves by the workouts we have done or how we have raced in the past. We take the unknown out of the equation and attempt to quantify everything. I am not very smart so there is a lot of scientific stuff that I don’t understand.

I just know that my attitude has often revolved around the idea that “It could be worse.” After a race that was mediocre it is easy to think like that. Lately I have had the confidence to say, “It must be better!” Two times in seven days in March I was fortunate enough to take a deep breath and crush. I was able to run like I have always thought myself capable of.

I remember watching Dan Browne run down Summit Avenue in St. Paul to win the 2002 Twin Cities Marathon. There was blood all over his jersey and he had the fiercest look of determination imaginable. Since that day I have been a huge Dan Browne fan. So you can imagine my excitement when it came down to the two of us dueling over Hart Bridge in Jacksonville, Florida for the USA 15K Championships.

I had been listening to the song, “Saves the Day” by Atmosphere all morning. In between prayers for strength and courage, the line “Seize the limit, let the sky be the moment” had been running through my head the entire race. I didn’t understand what it meant until I found myself trying to run away from my hero Dan Browne, trying to catch my hero Deena Kastor, and trying to get to my goal of being a national champion.

I have always wanted to win a major championship and cross the line as if it had been the plan all along - an attitude Barry Sanders used to have when he would cross the line for a touchdown, hand the football to the ref and jog to the sidelines as if to say, “I have been here before, I’ll be here again.”

Well, as I entered into Jacksonville Jaguar stadium and sprinted down the sideline of the field, I definitely wasn’t the Barry Sanders of professional distance running. I did the equivalent of punting the football high into the stands while climbing the goal posts and diving into the crowd. The raw emotion of the moment though was a representation of years of hard work that had finally culminated into something that at moments I hadn’t thought possible. Many times I had asked the question, “Why me?” Whether it be after poor races, struggles in life, injuries, etc. It tends to be an easy question to ask when you feel sorry for yourself. In this moment, on the verge of my first U.S. title, I finally had the courage to put my arms up in the air and say, “Why not me?!”

Seven days after Gate River I found myself approaching the starting line of the USA 8K Championships in New York City. I had been tired all week and contemplating whether or not I really wanted to attempt the 15K-8K double. I am sure my family, girlfriend, coach and teammates were sick of hearing me utter the words, “I’m tired”…but it was really all I could think of.

Getting to New York though and being part of such an amazing organization like the New York Road Runners definitely rejuvenated my determination throughout the weekend of the race. Just racing in Central Park simply makes you want to perform well. So as I got to the line with an incredible field of athletes assembled I did what I always do. I bowed my head to the ground and prayed for strength. I then turned my eyes up and repeated the lyric that represents my attitude, “Seize the limit, let the sky be the moment.”

For a moment in New York City I thought that the race was mine. I pressed the pace very hard three times during the 8-kilometer circuit. Jorge Torres combated all of my attempts though and ultimately defeated me over the last 800 meters. I couldn’t have been happier though. I had always pictured myself running with guys like Jorge but it had never really happened before. For one morning in New York City though, all that separated Jorge and I was .7 seconds.

This is getting long and I have had three large cups of coffee and missed my morning run in order to get this thing done. I will say though that immediately after the 8K there were moments that I felt satisfied and almost content with myself and my career - the feeling I wouldn’t have to do anything more and I could rest easy from here on out. I tried to combat this feeling by going back to Central Park hours after the race in order to get some more work done. As I returned to the hotel I got into the elevator with Jorge and his girlfriend. Jorge could tell I had been running, smiled, and said, “You out looking for that .7 seconds?”

Always.

Be Blessed. Be Strong. Believe.

January 8, 2008 Entry (Posted January 10, 2008)

“I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose…and a panther”.
-Dwight Schrute

Now maybe I am not as fast as Dwight from The Office, but it has felt good to feel fast again in the last few weeks. We decided this year to revamp everything I had been doing in the past. Even though it has only been a few years, I was already starting to tire of my regular training and racing schedule. We have de-emphasized mega mileage and really focused on executing the purpose of each workout.

We also chose different races this year to break up the monotony of fall/winter training. Though I am disappointed that I won’t be able to make it back to Houston this year (for the half marathon championships), I am really happy with how things have been going and the movement that we are making towards Eugene.

The first step in this process was to travel to New York City for the Emerald Nuts Midnight Run in Central Park. The NYRR were gracious enough to have me out for the race and I was definitely excited to run. I knew the atmosphere in New York City on New Year’s Eve would be electric and I definitely wasn’t disappointed.  It was really fun to feed off the energy of fireworks, thousands of people dancing in the streets and the other elite runners who decided to spend their New Year’s Eve battling through the streets of Central Park.

It also helped the experience to have one of those nights. The course was a  4-mile loop that was pretty much up and down the entire time. I really found my strength over the second half of the race and felt great the entire way.  I have usually equated racing with large amounts of suffering and hoping expectantly for it to be over quickly. For one night in New York City though, I wanted one more lap. [Editor’s Note: Andrew Carlson won the Emerald Nuts Midnight Run in a course-record time of 18:12].

I am as focused as I have ever been at this point in my career and have really thrived off the work that we have been doing. In the past I have found it to be a desperate battle to find my limits, while at the same time trying to believe that I don’t have any. I am to the point now where I don’t think about limits anymore. There has been an indelible change within me in the past few months. Something I can only thank the Lord for and as we move into 2008 I am so excited to see what my training partners and I are capable of. I hope everyone had a blessed Christmas.

Be Blessed. Be Strong. Believe.

 

November 19, 2007 Entry (Posted November 20, 2007)

Hey, what’s up? Things are going well here in Minnesota. While last year I was getting ready to run the Chiba Ekiden, this year we decided to just spend our time training hard and not racing for awhile. Physically part of my problem last year was that I ramped up my training so fast to get ready for winter racing that by the time March came around I was pretty much just fried. So now, we are taking it slow and preparing everyday for the Olympic Trials this summer. My faith has been renewed in the last week, thanks be to God, and I feel as though we are on the right track pushing towards this summer.

Some of my teammates and I were able to make the trek for Ryan Shay’s funeral in Central Lakes, Michigan, earlier this month. As we drove through a blizzard on county roads in Northern Wisconsin and Michigan, I began to think that this was a microcosm for my life. Not really knowing where I was, not really knowing where I was going, but knowing that I am moving with purpose and in the end, the result was of great importance. Our end result was to pay our respects to an amazing person, a great friend and of course, a fierce competitor.

When we were in college, Luke Watson was the golden child from Minnesota. We kept up with everything he did and cheered on his successes from afar. If you followed college running then, you couldn’t say Luke Watson without saying Ryan Shay. So by association we all became huge Ryan Shay fans. We would hear through Luke and other people about the tremendous amount of intensity Ryan would bring to training everyday. I remember being inspired and deflated at the same time when I would hear of the workouts that Ryan would do.

It wasn’t until a few years later that I met Ryan on a road in Mammoth Lakes, California. He was the first professional runner I had ever met. We ran together that day and had breakfast as a group afterwards. I remember thinking, “if I ever get good enough to do this as my job, I want to be just like Ryan Shay.”  I think a lot of people wanted to be like Ryan as a runner. I mean, who wouldn’t want a tremendous amount of success coupled with the desire to be one of the greatest? Fortunately for me, I got to turn from a fan of Ryan’s, to a competitor of Ryan’s, to a friend of Ryan’s. It was in becoming friends that I saw that if I could be half the person that Ryan was, it would be a life well lived.

So as my thoughts and prayers go out to Alicia and Ryan’s families.  I am left with a verse from the Bible that has sustained me through many of life’s ups and downs. It is from Romans Chapter 8, verse 18 and it says, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”  Or in the words of the Gabe Dixon Band, “All will be well, you can ask me how but only time will tell.”

            God Bless.

 

August 15, 2007 Entry (Posted August 21, 2007)

“Forget about the crowds, the size of the school, their fancy uniforms, and remember what got you here. Focus on the fundamentals that we’ve gone over time and time again. And most important, don’t get caught up thinking about winning or losing this game. If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don’t care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game. In my book, we’re gonna be winners!” --Coach Norman Dale – Hoosiers

So maybe this speech wasn’t in my head before my final track race of the season. It is, however, the third greatest sports movie speech of all time, so I figured it would be a good thing to start with. In retrospect, this speech does describe my last race of the season. I am so very fortunate to get to do what I do. Traveling around the world running races and training hard everyday to reach my goals is the best job I could ever possibly think to have. So, before I sound like I am complaining, I just wanted to give that disclaimer.

I will say that the last four months were rough. After I got hurt (fell and broke a rib in March), I just could not get things right. I would run 120 miles in a week and then go to Eugene and try to run a 5K. It may work for some people, but it does not work for me. I was caught in between trying to train like an animal but racing like…well…a tired animal I guess. Anyway, bad metaphor.

Long story short – quite tired, racing badly. My coach, Dennis Barker, would tell me repeatedly to stop but I don’t listen…I need to start. I went to Europe anyways though and started to feel much better once I just let go of the idea of running a lot. I turned my focus to racing and I guess things started going a bit better.

Now that I am back in Minnesota, things are going quite well. I guess for awhile I just got a life beat down and I finally started hitting back. I am really looking forward to running the roads for the rest of the year. It is really where I feel at home. Somewhere between 6 and 13 miles, things really just start to click so I am really looking forward to getting back to it.

I will be in New Haven for the 20K, in the Twin Cities for the 10 mile, and we will see what happens after that. For anyone who is struggling with things right now though, I will leave you with these words from Rocky Balboa:

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!”

Be Blessed. Be Strong. Believe.
Andrew

April 6, 2007 Entry (Posted April 10, 2007)

Before I started improving as a runner, I would search far and wide for any type of information that might expedite the process. “What did good runners eat?”; “How much did good runners sleep?”; “What part of Once a Runner should I read in order to get myself sufficiently pumped up for my next race?” etc. It was a pretty vicious cycle. Thankfully I finally got the answer I was looking for. I trained with Kip Kangogo for a summer while we were in college. I believe I had just committed to memory, pages 44-81 of the Daniel’s Running Formula and was ready to take on the world. On my way out the door to find glory in the foothills, I asked Kip, “Why are you such a good runner?” As I waited for his reply, I was sure he was going to give me guidance on training at threshold and eating ugali 3x daily, but I was way off. He looked at me and said three words I will never forget, “Running…is…hard.”

I guess that is how I would describe the past few months. I think everyone would agree that the physical demands of running are pretty obvious, but the ups and downs putting ourselves on the line is also very hard. While we would wish that we would always get what we believe we deserve after the sacrifice and pain of training, it just is not realistic. Since I found out there was a world cross country team, I have made it my life goal to be on one. After training in Flagstaff and running well in Houston, I knew that if there was year to make it, it would be this one. The idea of getting to Kenya motivated me on a daily basis and I was ready to run well when I got to Boulder. As I moved up into fifth place during the race, I began falling into “Jonesy’s Surprise” every lap. I found out later that everyone was falling in, but at the time there seemed to be a magnetic force that was pulling me into the abyss. I smeared mud all over myself and kept repeating, “Let’s go crazy”, but nothing seemed to help. At some point I started feeling helpless and thinking, “Maybe this just isn’t my year.” I summoned a final lap that I did not think I had and because of people electing not to go to Kenya, I was on the team. It was not the way I envisioned making a team, but I was pleased nonetheless.

I had let my mind wander a bit in the weeks following the world cross trials. I was hoping to have a solid race at Gate River and then maybe the race of my life in Kenya. As it turns out, on the Wednesday before Gate River I hit a patch of ice while making a turn on an evening run and landed hard on my shoulder/rib/back. I immediately popped up because I was sure that all of Minnesota was laughing at me…it probably did look funny. And for a little while, I thought the fall had been to my benefit. I thought I might be living a scene from the movie “Rookie of the Year” and when I got up I would be able to throw a 105 mph fastball. That was not the case and all it did was just hurt really bad. I tried not to think about it and boarded the plane to Jacksonville. Upon arrival I told Lehm, “I am only going to say this once…but my ribs hurt REAL BAD.” I did not hold true on my promise and I mentioned the pain in my ribs every ten minutes for the rest of the weekend. At one point I had Lehm stand on my back in order to “pop” whatever was out of place back into place…terrible idea.

Anyways, to sum this up, I suffered through Gate River. When I came home I found out I had cracked my ribs and had bone bruising. We didn’t think it would be the best idea for me to travel to Kenya with what was going on, so I had to decline my spot. I had those weeks of being down and out, but have now come to the conclusion that I am going to do everything in my power to keep making teams, keep improving and keep running for the right reasons. So in the words of Bob Dylan, “Every pleasure’s got an edge of pain, pay for your ticket and don't complain.”

God Bless,
Andrew

January 25, 2007 Entry (Posted January 29, 2007)

“The game has changed.” That was my thought as I traveled back from the US Half Marathon Championships in Houston. Usually my thoughts after a personal best and strong finish in a tough field revolve around what I will do better next time, how I can train harder, and just an overall feeling of thankfulness that it is over. As I looked out the window of the plane this time all I could do is smile, shake my head and say “59:43.” I can tell you that there is no one better to be at the front of US distance running than Ryan. His performance has inspired me to step up everything that I do.

That being said, I was satisfied with my performance in Houston. I thought that both Jason and I ran smart and conservative races. We lost all of our time on Meb and Fasil in the first 3 miles of the race, but I must commend them for their guts to go out at such an aggressive pace. Hopefully in the future with added fitness and more confidence I will be able to race with more courage.

After taking a week easy and kickin’ it old school with Abdi in Tucson, I have hopefully turned a corner in my training and am excited to compete in my upcoming races. I am currently in Flagstaff. I am pretty sure that the snow is following me around though. I was under the misconception that everywhere in Arizona is 100 degrees all the time. Thankfully I have my training partners here with me to get me out the door when I would rather drink coffee and watch Sportscenter. Watching the intensity in which Matt (Gabe), Jason (Kucks) and Carrie (Cuatro) train is constantly a humbling experience.

I hope everyone is getting through this winter and continuing to work hard. I have really tried to simplify things in knowing that all I can do is keep the faith and do work. So in the words of Common, “For every mission that seems impossible, spit the Gospel to remind me what God can do, when it’s not logical.”

God Bless,
Andrew

December 11, 2006 Entry (Posted December 13, 2006)

With the cold season in full effect here in Minnesota, it is time to toughen up. It is not too bad though. I just keep the coffee hot and stay thankful that I am able to do this at all. A quote from Emil Zatopek always comes to mind when people wonder how we can train in these hard conditions.

Zatopek said, “When a person trains once, nothing happens. When a person forces himself to do a thing a hundred or a thousand times, then he certainly has developed in more ways than physical. Is it raining? That doesn’t matter. Am I tired? That doesn’t matter, either. Then willpower will be no problem.”

The past month has been very hard but very rewarding at the same time. After my break, I decided to take my time getting back into shape. Well, on the second day of training, I found out that I could be part of Team USA in the Chiba International Ekiden Relay. This was a great opportunity for me and something that I jumped at immediately.

That meant a quick escalation into training and a lot of pressure to be fit in time for the race. So while it was very stressful and I felt the anxiety of the race very early, I am glad that I was able to do it. On the plane ride to Japan I pretty much just decided that I would put myself in a position to do something good but with realistic expectations of my capabilities at the time.

When we arrived in Japan we were taken to a training center outside of Chiba. It was a pretty rustic place; it reminded me of Northern Minnesota. That was definitely not a feeling that I was expecting to have during my time in Japan, but it was very cool.

I knew most of my teammates/coaches, so it was definitely a laid back atmosphere. Most of the conversation revolved around Romanian women and competitive eating. Ha ha. I think our team was a representation of a young group of American runners who are definitely on the way up. They also all assured me that as long as I kept us in the race, they would be okay with it. It took a lot of pressure off of me and my perceived lack of fitness.

The race (a 10K leg) went pretty much how I thought it might. I felt very good through 7K, but then I felt like I had just gone 12 rounds in a title fight. I thought I could hear people coming up behind me, but it was actually echo reverberations from my feet stomping the ground so hard. I definitely never gave up, but I had given basically everything I had. It was definitely a relief to see the finish. The entire team ran great and we were able to get third in a good field. It was a great way to spend Thanksgiving and hopefully I will be able to go back next year when my fitness is higher. Well, I hope that everyone has a good Christmas season, with many things to be thankful for. God Bless.

October 13, 2006 Entry (Posted October 16, 2006)

In the words of Jimi Hendrix, “If I’m free, it’s because I’m always running.” Now I don’t know if Jimi was talking about hammering out 120 mile weeks or not, but I am starting to agree with him. I am in the midst of a break from running, something that in the past has been my two favorite weeks of the year. After the experiences of this past year, I am eager to get back to work. In hopes of filling some time today, I will update those interested (hey dad) in how my year has concluded.

On September 4th, Lundo (Chris Lundstrom), Lehm (Jason Lehmkuhle) and me/myself/I (whichever one it is) were in Connecticut to run the USA 20k Championships. The race was a huge surprise to me (to finish third). I had trained hard for it but got sick about four days beforehand. I was just praying that I would keep my mind on the race and not focus on things I couldn’t control. I was able to do that and once I got into a rhythm, I felt very good. Lundstrom mentioned in his journal that he would like to take credit for the race because he made me eat a vegetarian meal before the race. I would like to credit the bag of beef jerky I ate at the hotel in allowing me to offset the entire vegetarian experience.

This performance qualified me to represent the U.S. at the World Road Running Championships in Hungary. I am still shocked that I was able to compete for the U.S. in an international competition. If you would have sat me down and told me, “Andrew, if you stick with this, in 10 years you will represent the U.S. overseas,” I would have definitely taken that deal. For this to happen so early on in the process is indescribable.

I had a poor tune-up race at the 5K in Providence that doesn’t need to be rehashed, but I was pretty confident that I could run well in Hungary. I think I was even more confident that Ryan (Hall) was going to have a great day. As we were warming up together, I told him, “I don’t know if anyone has told you this, but you can finish way up there today.” Ryan replied, “Thanks, you can too.” I eloquently replied, “Ummmmm, I ate too much for breakfast.”

And I was right. Ryan did finish way up there (American Record, 11th place) and I did in fact eat too much for breakfast. After hitting the 5K in 14:35 and feeling very good, breakfast decided to show its face. It would show its face a bunch of times during the course of the race, but I just kept repeating, “Don’t leave one step out here today.” So I fought the good fight and persevered and while I didn’t finish as high or as fast as I could have, I could leave Hungary knowing that I represented the U.S. to the best of my abilities on that day.

So this is getting a bit long and there is a pot of coffee to drink. Good luck to everyone running Chicago and New York. And for those of us who are getting ready for next year, only one line comes to mind: “Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart’s in it, and live the phrase ‘sky’s the limit.’” Notorious B.I.G.

God bless.

August 17, 2006 Entry(Posted August 25, 2006)

Things are good in Minnesota. The weather is nice and the Twins are playing great. That is about all I need.

If you have read the other journals on this web site you have probably gotten a pretty good feel for what Lueven, Belgium is like. It was especially nice to be there with my training partners and coach from Minnesota. It felt a bit like home even though we were overseas. Although I missed large cups of coffee and ESPN, it was a really great experience.

It is amazing how my perspective on running and everything has changed throughout this year. I have to step back sometimes and think that running has taken me to a different part of the world. I feel very blessed to have these opportunities. I don’t know if I could go to a different country for a year or anything like that though. I definitely missed Minnesota while I was there and am very happy to be back running on what I can now say are my favorite trails in the world.

As for the racing over the past month, things have been going pretty well. I was happy to get a personal best in both the 3000 and the 5000 meters in Belgium. Although now, after Teg’s 13:04, it seems like everyone has set their standard even higher. We are running at a really amazing time in American distance running and I am glad to be a part of it on some level. Hopefully a higher one in the years to come.

Since returning from Belgium, I was able to spend a week at the Altitude Project in Mammoth Lakes, California. What a great camp. If any college runners ever want something to do in the summer, I can’t think of a better way to spend three weeks.

Now the focus has shifted to the 20K in New Haven on Labor Day. It has been hard to change from 5K training to 20K training, but I feel prepared to continue at it. I hope everyone is having a good summer. God bless.

Introductory Entry

Disclaimer:

Due to a perceived lack of interest, I have been hesitant to begin keeping a journal. I will attempt to be interesting but can make no promises. I usually try to be funny, but recently I have found that I end most of my jokes with, “You see, that’s funny because...” Usually that statement is followed closely by Dennis Barker (our coach) stating with no expression, “Yeah, we get it, it’s funny."

I am originally from Fargo, ND, and competed at the University of Minnesota. There were plenty of things that drew me to Minnesota, particularly the balmy winters. After a few years of poor performances and frustration I put my running career (or lack thereof) in the hands of Steve Plasencia. While we started finding things that worked, Coach Plasencia also changed my mindset towards running. I used to be a bit of a running geek. Not that it is a bad thing, but for me it was a phase. I poured over the internet looking for training secrets and wanting to know every result from every race. I quoted Once a Runner and based my training off of Quentin Cassidy’s build up to his breakthrough mile. I secretly held a grudge with my family for not being from The Great Rift Valley. I could go on and on, but the moral of my story is that Coach Plasencia helped me realize that I am the only one that I can control. Training can be perfect and everything can be done right, but if your head isn’t in it when you toe the line, you have no chance. I try to keep running in perspective and put my faith in God rather than things that are fleeting. I am also proud to say I am from The Great Red River Valley and I always will be.

Throughout this process I have developed a strong desire to see how far I can go in the sport. I would have no chance to do this without the tireless and under appreciated work that Pat Goodwin and Dennis Barker do. They have taken a major chunk of their time and energy to give people like me, that am admittedly undeserving, the opportunity to pursue their goals and ambitions. When I show up at Augsburg College and there are Olympians, World Championship team members, National Champions, etc. waiting to workout, I know that Pat and Dennis are doing this the right way, and I could never thank them enough for allowing me to be part of it.

This year has been an exciting one so far. I have been able to compete at distances up to the half-marathon while still maintaining some versatility by focusing on the 5000 meters this spring. One of the great things about Dennis’s training philosophy is that all of the facets of training are implemented throughout the year. So if you are fit, you can race at a variety of distances. I have gotten to feel what it is like to push through a hot and grueling 10 mile race and finish 2nd in a USA Championship. I have also gotten to feel what it is like to go out in 61 seconds for my first 400 of a 5k and be off the back and out of the race. My confidence has risen throughout the year through these experiences and training with a group of hard working guys who have seen success on many levels. I have learned a lot from Dennis, Pat and all of the men and women at Team USA MN and they inspire me to try and take this thing to the next level.

Well, thanks to Pat Goodwin, ASICS and the USATF, I am off to Belgium this Sunday for a few races and then it is back to the roads. God Bless.